yey for my med issues

so its been about two weeks since i last posted ...well really a week and a half . i really hate not being able to get anymore often. but since i don't have internet in my room in TX right now its rather hard to post when i want to .. so when my buddy in the room next to me said he was going out and i could use his computer and stuff .. i was in there before he even finished talking


        anyways, Ive been thinking bout alot of things since Ive been back in Texas; just with the future and what i want . Part of the reason i have been thinking on these things is that Ive been going to a mix of doctor appointments , both for my legs and for mental health.

          With my legs basically i have multiple fascial hernias on my outer portion of both my calf's.. i haven't been able to run for 3 months now because of it .. the physical therapist is talking about possible having me go on a permanent profile(basically its army papers that say I'm not supposed to run and when i do the APFT( army physical fitness test) i get to do a variation on running IE walking or biking and i think swimming is one other the options too....So i went to see the Otho clinic to see what they thought of it and see what they also thought on if i should have surgery or not.. basically as long as it doesn't get worse or larger i shouldn't have the surgery mostly because it raises the likeliness of compartment syndrome which may be an underlying factor anyways already . therefore with the army downsizing its just another thing that will hinder re-enlistment (if i decide i want to ) besides from being flagged for over weight

 

 

                      Like i said before i also have been going to mental heath for the problems i have .. i am now seeing 3 different doctors :a therapist/ councilor works with social services , a psychologist who proscribes me meds ,and a 2 therapist/councilor. the reason for the 2nd councilor therapist is that shes doing what is referred to as bio-feed back basically it takes readings from your body and graphs them .. blood pressure ,pulse ,how much your hands sweat the temp of your hands(in course tells you how your circulation is) and also puts probes on a muscle group so see how tense you get there .. Ive been there only once so far and just had the initial test readings done and it was found that i have a very very high adrenaline that is constantly released and that it is evident that i have dealt with this probably for a long time ( witch is shown by the steady normal heart rate i kept even though out the spikes in adrenaline .And what does that mean ? well basically the chemical imbalance of the abnormally high adrenaline contributes to my bad anxiety and for the fact that i don't get to sleep well and that i can stay up for hours/days on end and not feel the effects as majorly as others do ... she said that shes rarely seen someone manage to keep their pules that steady with that much adrenaline. and it just goes to prove that i do have problems that need fixed in my life.

             anyways on a side note my friend A~~ the drama went up high and the guy she was looking at had his head in the clouds and between the two of them idk its seems to work out as just friends or what ever though others took it sort of crazy and may have gotten out of hand but i really don't know I've been gone out of the state back to Texas and i try to mostly stay out of it i think it turned out as best as it could considering the circumstances.... anyways A~~ has been staying with her dad in Kansas and she goes back to Wisconsin tomorrow so i hope that goes good for her .. i think shes getting home sick for her bird and Wisconsin and maybe alittle board of it there since she doesn't know too many people there but i know she likes being with her dad so least they have that time when he isn't working I'm glad she can do that {^-^}

                    well me and C~~ idk what will happen we really arnt talking anymore we were arguing a bit too the other day ... theres also stuff i want to tell her but i haven't had the heart to really say it (IE she needs to shape up and basically be more responsible . i don't think she really understand that life in some way will aways suck in one form or an other ... i just want her to really put her life on track to succeed i know i haven't done the best for my self at times but i just want to see her do well .. go to school and do school work and not skip classes and turn in paperwork on time(ie grants tuition aid and such ;help around her grandparents place where she still lives, take better care of all the pets she has manly her dog .. zoey needs to be taken out on a walk almost every day she is a puppy still and needs that exercise let alone C~~ could use it too idk where this will go... time will tell

                 Before i left WI i met M~ and shes turned out to be amazing lol she adopted a puppy from the local humane association and sounds like he is doing well ^^ A~~ M~~ and myself brought him back it was alot of fun that day anyways i hope she remains a friend and such though out the years .. she was really nice lol

                          so with the meds I'm one they seem to help i hope things only get better ... cause it was a rough Ive had a few sessions with the councilor that does social work now and well after so much talking and such she says i have a eating disorder ... i don't know what to make of it yet .. i mean yea i know i don't have good eating habits all the time but still ... don't know if i want to admit it ... its not like a major one like anorexia or bulimia but still (binge eating disorder http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/binge-eating-disorder/DS00608

well im taking my meds and kicking it in bed

AeonScout